People who have good Cognitive Flexibility are able to kind of “go with the flow”. They handle sudden changes in situations or in the environment without a lot of freaking out.
Yes, ADHDers have a reputation for being laid-back and easy-going, and great in an emergency. Lots of us end up working in jobs like emergency medicine, after all.
So if we say that ADHDers struggle with Cognitive Flexibility, what gives?
Think back to when you actually lose your cool. It’s typically going to be when stuff goes sideways, when your plans can’t happen, when something breaks your routine. For people working in an ER or as paramedics, emergencies at work are just part of the daily grind. They don’t get flustered because they know what to do in these specific types of situations.
In regular life, difficulty with Cognitive Flexibility looks like melting down because someone else ate the thing you had planned to eat for lunch. It’s feeling completely lost because a friend popped in for a visit when you’d been intending to watch your favourite TV show. It’s feeling like nothing ever goes right and you shouldn’t make plans because obviously nobody else cares about what you want so why bother and life sucks, all because you missed correcting a typo in an e-mail you sent your boss.
Yeah.
Sometimes it’s the tiniest things that break us, because they’re harder to predict. Society expects us to have plans for evacuating in case of fire. We’re supposed to keep supplies on hand in case there’s a flood or something. We know to call 911 if there’s a break-in or if someone has a medical emergency. But our brains see disruption of plans and routines (both of which take a lot of energy to create and follow already) as being life-or-death emergencies.
Cognitive Flexibility is one of the executive functions that’s implicated in all three types of ADHD. It’s why transitioning from one activity to another is difficult. It’s why we melt down over “little blips”, and why we panic when they happen.
Cognitive Flexibility is part of Planning–or maybe Planning is part of Cognitive Flexibility? Unclear. They may well be entwined and part of each other. It is part of Attentional Control, because it is part of why it can be hard to change our attention. And it affects Self-Monitoring, because it can be so hard to know why we’re reacting to something in a particular way.
Since Cognitive Flexibility is implicated in all three types of ADHD but it mainly affects other Executive Functions that are involved in Inattentive ADHD more than in Hyperactive/Impulsive ADHD, you are more likely to struggle with it if you have Inattentive or Combined ADHD. It’s just one of those things: difficulties with one make others harder, and vice versa.
Having difficulties with Cognitive Flexibility is not a moral failing. It is not wrong to feel overwhelmed when something changes unexpectedly. It is not wrong to flail a bit when the rug is pulled out from under you and you feel like you’re about to fall off a cliff.
I want to encourage you, if you struggle with Cognitive Flexibility, to remember this. Remember that you’re “overreacting” because your brain, your body, feels like you’re going to die. If you can, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Slow down. Talk yourself through the new situation, out loud if necessary. “I was going to do X and now I can’t do that. What are my options? I could do Y or Z or B. Which one makes the most sense right now?” etc.
If you have someone in your life you can trust, who you feel okay asking to support you, show them this post and this explanation of what’s going on when something changes. Ask them to help you work through these sudden changes when they happen, with the idea that eventually you’ll be able to do it independently. If they aren’t sure how they would do that, come up with a key phrase they can say when they notice that you’re starting to spiral. Something like “Things have changed, what now?” Use that as your cue to breathe slowly and talk through the options.
Having ADHD is hard. Struggling with Cognitive Flexibility is hard. You are not worth less than someone else because of these challenges. Your brain literally works differently from that of a non-ADHD brain, and that’s okay. It’s okay to ask for help with your challenges. You matter, and you are allowed to have a good quality of life. If that means you need help dealing with sudden changes and making transitions and stuff, well, so be it.
Everyone needs help with something, and this is one of your things.
actuallyadhd.org 